Monday, February 20, 2012

It's going to be a very long road back.

It has been 15 days since I hurt my lower back.  Most of the pain is gone, but there is still something wrong.  It has also bee 15 days since I did anything as far as training goes.  I worked out tonight and it was...well...see for yourself:

I was very anxious and nervous about tonight's training.  I wanted to take it easy, but I also didn't shy away from my problem, so I jumped right into the thick of it with tonight's workout being squats. 

bar x 10
135 x 10
225 x 5 x 5

Nothing more.  The last couple of sets made my back "tight" and my legs had the strength of a school girl.  This is going to be very hard.

(I walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes as well...not really cardio, but I got a sweat going)

It's an amazing feat to get that "unconditioned" and "untrained" in 15 days.  I think it may be mental self-preservation.  This whole moment in my life where I have been exposed to SO MANY different people while injured(previously I would hermit until I was all better - adults can't do that I guess) has affect me deeply.  Everyone thinks they are experts and when they saw me hunched over they would shake their heads and with pity in their voice(and sort of sarcastic and demeaning tones) they would say, "it's because of all that working out stuff you do, huh?"  Had I the strength and straight spined-ness I would have knocked their teeth in...EVERY ONE OF THEM!  I know my body, I know when I hurt something in training and if it's going to be bad enough to carry over to numerous days, and THIS was not that!  I got out of bed and couldn't stand up straight. And 15 days later I have fatigued hip joints and muscles, and I have a small point of pain in my back.  It has gotten better in the fact that my entire lower back is not cramped up and in intense pain, but there is still something wrong.  I feel strong somedays and somedays I feel like this is how it will be forever.

Is it all in my head?

I'm not sure.


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